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April 19, 2005
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Christianity is Linux
Countless versions exist, with most of them sharing common ideals. Founded on the principle that any person can modify the code in any way they see fit and present it as a competing product. This has resulted in countless distributions vying for space on hard disks. In the West, there has been a drive to reduce the effort needed to install Linux in order to increase its user base. Derived from Unix. Not as popular in English-speaking countries as the developers would like, but spreading fast in the developing world. The decision by American and Canadian Linux distributors to allow homosexuals to contribute to the source code has caused uproar among traditionalists. They insist that while Linus Torvald loves homosexuals, there's no way in hell he'd want them to go anywhere near the source code.

Judaism is Unix
Disciples of Unix can often be seen with large beards. Hard to understand and sometimes eccentric, the followers of this operating system claim that Linux and OS X are offshoots of Unix. Hard to master, which is why Unix gurus are few and far between in the modern world. Users of Unix have dwindled in number since Linux was introduced. Devotees of Unix believe that if Unix is preinstalled on a computer, then that computer is a Unix machine from then on, even if the user removes Unix and installs another operating system. When unable to refute a valid criticism of their operating system, Unix devotees often resort to accusing other people of being anti-Unitic.

Islam is OS X
Seems fundamentally different from Unix and Linux but shares a code base; this is something users of OS X will never confess. They maintain that the founder of Apple was born before Unix was established, therefore OS X came before Unix. Followers have been known to employ militant tactics when dealing with users of other operating systems. Moderates who use Windows at work maintain that the majority of OS X users are law abiding citizens, who would never wire a Mac to blow and sneak it into a server farm full of Windows, Linux or Unix boxes. Believers are notoriously bad at accepting criticism of OS X; authors of books criticising OS X have received death threats, and in extreme cases have had death orders placed on them by Grand Ayatollah Steve Jobs.

Atheism is Windows Server 2003
Cold and unfeeling. Simple to use but some argue power has been removed from the hands of the user. Accused of monopolistic tendencies but actually a fairly good OS. Will give the occasional BSOD, but that can be attributed to bad software. In the right hands, Windows Server 2003 is rock solid.

Buddhism is DOS
For those that wish to lead the simple life. Stripped of anything resembling an amenity, only the bare essentials required to run a machine are available. Users of DOS strive to lower their memory utilisation, enough to allow them to escape from the cycle of continual rebooting and enter a higher state of consciousness known as WIMP, where all manner of windows, icons, mice and pointers await them.

Agnosticism is Lindows
Was once the choice for people unsure which path leads to computing bliss, but now makes no secret of its allegiances. Most people once avoided Lindows at all costs, as it was shown to be merely Linux with a Faith Compatibility Layer running on top. Has now become trendy. Advocates of Lindows tend to avoid involving themselves in arguments about operating systems. Followers of Lindows insist this is because using Lindows has given them tranquillity and contentment. Critics argue it's because they know next to nothing about operating systems and have chosen Lindows because they can't be bothered to compile source code, but don't like being left out when the family are playing a Solitaire rip-off during the holidays.

Kabbalah is Windows Longhorn
Full of holes, Windows Longhorn has often been referred to as "a crock of shit whose promises will never come true" and a "blatant attempt to rip off the look and feel of other operating systems". When pre-release versions of the scripture are leaked, followers of Longhorn spend hours or even days downloading them.

Scientology is Windows 95
Only known users are John Travolta and michaeltoe.
I should have submitted this long ago.

I originally intended to upload a manipulated image of a Windows 98 manual as the preview image, but that would have been a copyright violation if I couldn't obtain permission from Microsoft. D'oh.

Edit: I've quickly put together a preview image.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconnosugarjustanger:
nosugarjustanger Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2014
Interesting perspective! :lol:

I wonder how you would class atheism but that's a non-religion, so not so easy. :ninja:
Reply
:iconstradievarie:
Stradievarie Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2009   Interface Designer
It's so so....
exciting

so computer-minded :D
Reply
:iconmurderslastcrow:
murderslastcrow Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2009
Hilarious. :3 I'm glad you're so understanding of both religion and Operating Systems. Open-mindedness leads to many beneficial things, one of the least of which being comedic prowess.
Reply
:iconfoocha-kyo:
foocha-kyo Featured By Owner May 15, 2008
XD Very clever!
I also got a good laugh out of the comments. Some people don't know when to quit :roll:
Reply
:icondeclingy:
declingy Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2007
Hmmm.... Interesting take on the world's different religions. Isn't it interesting humans can create so much and have vastly different schools of thought.

All in all, all religions are the same, much like computers and OS's, they all come from grains of silicon.

Maybe, silicon is God then?
Reply
:iconhappy-herbs:
happy-herbs Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2007
this is really funny but the diskussion you triggered was even better! couldnt stop laughing!
Reply
:iconcat-of-the-shadows:
Cat-of-the-Shadows Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2007
This is funny because it's true. Religon for Nerds :rofl:
Reply
:iconinanenotinsane:
InaneNotInsane Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2007
It and I need to wed.
Now.


I love this so much.

The decision by American and Canadian Linux distributors to allow homosexuals to contribute to the source code has caused uproar among traditionalists. They insist that while Linus Torvald loves homosexuals, there's no way in hell he'd want them to go anywhere near the source code.

Love so much.


I did once hear a Christian say this (VERBATIM):
"So you want all gay people do be dead?"

"No! God will kill them."


Did I mention I love this not only for that?

I love this.
Reply
:iconlachrymosity:
lachrymosity Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2007  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
hmm, I wonder what system Hinduism will be.
Reply
:iconkrisogs92:
Krisogs92 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2007
I don't use server 2003 yet I am an atheist. i use Vista XD
Reply
:icondr-eman1:
Dr-Eman1 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2007
When Jesus comes again he may work miracles through the internet.
But for me, there is nothing like when he is in my heart.
I love Jesus.
Reply
:iconreluctantatheist:
ReluctantAtheist Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2007
I love this concept...ah the contoversy. Religion may be the basis of life for many people - you know, their entire moral ground, guidance for how they lead their life, reason for living at all - but still, I mean, lighten up!
Reply
:icondave-hoghtoncarter:
dave-hoghtoncarter Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2006
Great piece :)
Reply
:iconjonlarkins:
jonlarkins Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2006
I love it!
Reply
:iconapollo29a:
apollo29a Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2006
Not only was this prose awesomel funny, But the comments through my into a laughing frenzy. Great work.
Reply
:icontomtopia:
Tomtopia Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2006
LMAO, that was brilliant.
Reply
:iconblue-eastcoast:
Blue-eastcoast Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2006   Photographer
haha awesome =)
Reply
:icondivineradiance:
DivineRadiance Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2006  Professional Digital Artist
Scientology is Windows 95
Only known users are John Travolta and michaeltoe.

:rofl: That's my FAVORITE part! :D That was awesome! :D
Reply
:iconcygnus-x1:
Cygnus-X1 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2006
Oh my satan, freaking religion battles. Classic example of someone religious thinking that they are right about it all, and everone else is wrong. x.x Well, in that aspect, no one is right. I'm not religious myself (oh my satan was a joke). The things I believe in and think are way beyond most people's scope. And I don't go shoving it in peoples' faces telling them that it's the only "right" thing to believe. [end rant]

Anyway, I love that piece. Genius! The way each operating system fit into the description was perfect. Nice job.
Reply
:iconyoboseiyo:
yoboseiyo Featured By Owner May 26, 2006
oh. my. god.

i love this, i was giggling for like, a full 5 mins 'cause of this thing.

it's scarily acurate, and i love it for that.
i like the buddhist part especially.

namaste.
Reply
:iconfindesigner:
findesigner Featured By Owner May 17, 2006
Nice idea here :D. I just watched the movie "passion of the christ", and this one reminds me about that movie o/
Reply
:icontails2k4:
tails2k4 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2005  Hobbyist Photographer
Awesome, everything is thought out and applied to the world.
Reply
:iconvegabondsx:
Vegabondsx Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2005
lol. That's a great analogy.
Reply
:iconneutrino-x:
Neutrino-X Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2005
Hehe... What a twisted point of view about the religion and the computers... I like it! :D :+fav:

I'm a christian and I find it amusing. Some people here take the things too seriously... :roll:
Reply
:iconqueenhrosie:
queenhrosie Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2005
I laugh at this wildly as a Christian.

A reply to the earlier argument: sometimes people take things too seriously. Not that religion shouldn't be a serious aspect of your life, BUT as I like to say "God had a Hell of a sense of humor if He made me."

I love it.

And I think I understand my computer a little more...hahaha.

*rides a red scooter into the sunset*
Reply
:iconlemontea:
lemontea Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2005
I laughed for at least 12 seconds. :D Grand work of art. Even though though I've sent a total of 24 seconds laughing at it.
Reply
:iconiamdrew:
iamdrew Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2005
Christianity is a clone of Judaism? Cool! :D

Awesome humor though, great stuff.
Reply
:iconaquanius:
Aquanius Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2005
:giggle:

I :heart: it. Great work! =D
Reply
:iconaquanius:
Aquanius Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2005
:giggle:

I :heart: it. Great work! =D
Reply
:iconexxxam:
Exxxam Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2005   Filmographer
lols, what about sun's solaris?
Reply
:iconforevermore:
forevermore Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2005
what's windows ME?
or BSD?
or solaris?

what's zoroastrianism?
what's wicca?
what's satanism?

just some food for thought...
Reply
:iconaprilechidna:
AprilEchidna Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2005
Nice piece :D Made me laugh, which is hard for text :lol: Great job.
Reply
:iconthree-planes:
three-planes Featured By Owner May 20, 2005  Hobbyist General Artist
Hmmmm......I'm a Christian, but I use Windows XP. Does that mean I'm basphemizing? :O_o:
Reply
:iconscope2k4:
Scope2k4 Featured By Owner May 27, 2005
I dunno but I bet it's Freudian. XP wasn't mentioned, guess it's a misc.
Reply
:iconsystemlink:
SystemLink Featured By Owner May 11, 2005
Not funny,dudeT_T
As a christian I don't support jokes made on people from the Bibble,especially Jesus.
Why do people select their joke target God,Jesus
Why won't they make fun of Muchamed or Allach?
I'll tell ya why.Cuz those "gods" are a myph,but God & Jesus are real.
Satanists selected their symbol the upside dowm cross,meaning anti-Jesus
Why didn't they selected the egiptian ank?Because it's not real
Again I say,not funnyT_T
Reply
:iconvegabondsx:
Vegabondsx Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2005
I doubt that followers of other religons would agree with you. Just because you don't agree doesn't make you right and other people wrong.
Reply
:iconkronix:
kronix Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2005
Jesus was a male prostitute.
Reply
:iconsystemlink:
SystemLink Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2005
NEVER SAY THAT >=[
Reply
:iconbraintransplant:
braintransplant Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2008
He was also a communist. Kill!
Reply
:iconsoulspit:
soulspit Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2005
you're practically asking for it.
Reply
:iconsystemlink:
SystemLink Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2005
could you just give it a rest already :roll:
Reply
:iconsoulspit:
soulspit Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2005
i just wasn't sure whether or not you were aware of this fact.
Reply
:iconkronix:
kronix Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2005
Just to clarify, one of the central tenets of my religion is the belief that Jesus was a male prostitute.
Reply
:iconebon-clouds:
Ebon-Clouds Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2005
"Not funny,dudeT_T
As a christian I don't support jokes made on people from the Bibble,especially Jesus.
Why do people select their joke target God,Jesus
Why won't they make fun of Muchamed or Allach?
I'll tell ya why.Cuz those "gods" are a myph,but God & Jesus are real.
Satanists selected their symbol the upside dowm cross,meaning anti-Jesus
Why didn't they selected the egiptian ank?Because it's not real
Again I say,not funnyT_T"

It's not a good idea to do this.
You've now labeled yourself as ignorant to everyone here.
Your true intelligence, however, no-one will really know because you've given in to pride.
That is one of the worst sins.
Reply
:iconsystemlink:
SystemLink Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2005
I don't care what you say.I told my opinion and forgot about this submission a very long time ago
Now you remind me.I said what I think and no one is gunna make me change my mind
You can think of me whatever you want cuz I couldn't care less
Religion is something VERY hard to argue about
You have your opinion on this,I have mine
Don't try to make me think your way plz :P
Reply
:iconebon-clouds:
Ebon-Clouds Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2005
I'm not at all trying to make you think my way, I'm just letting you know that you succeed only in entertaining people when you make such comments, understand?
Reply
:iconsystemlink:
SystemLink Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2005
Lol,the more comments for the artist :P
Reply
:iconreptilecartoons:
reptilecartoons Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2005
haha idiot, continue living in your own world but don't tell other people about what they should laugh... hahaha
Reply
:iconsystemlink:
SystemLink Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2005
Ahem,I never called you an idiot >=[
If you don't like it,go change your pampers
Reply
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